By Jack | September 22, 2013
“Five. Five-dollar. Five-dollar-footlong.” The annoyingly-monotoned Subway jingle continues to ring in my head long after the commercial ends, and part of me is tempted to find and kidnap Jared, holding him hostage until Subway changes that @$*% song.
Ah, but then it is Sub-tember. And suddenly that horrendous melody transforms into the joyous singing of an angelic choir, like any stereotypical movie scene where the hero discovers a hidden treasure. To the poor college student on a budget, a 12-inch Subway club for five dollars is like the Colts getting Trent Richardson for a draft pick; a ridiculous good deal.
I think that my apartment and I have accounted for over 100 feet of fresh-baked bread since the Sub-tember promotions began. Admittedly, the fact that Subway is only a two minute walk from our apartment may also contribute to our “subway abuse problem.”
In fact, my entire diet has changed dramatically since returning to school and fending for myself at meal times, sans University-sancioned meal plan. Back home, elaborate dinners of steak, baked potatoes and freshly-grilled asparagus prepared by my grillmaster of a father, or decadent Italian pasta dishes cooked lovingly by my wonderful mother were the norm. Nowadays, a large juicy NY strip is only a seductive temptress found in my wildest fantasies.
So what do I eat? (And, of course, as a blogging representative of the entire student body, by “I”, I actually mean, “everybody on campus”). Well, besides devouring five-dollar-footlongs and Qdoba (also located extremely close-by), we enjoy ordering chicken from Wings Over. We love wings. Our apartment is always open to any person who Brings Over Wings Over (If they start doing TV commercials, I’ll be disappointed if that slogan isn’t part of their marketing campaign).
As far as my skills in the kitchen, they are limited. I eat a lot of eggs and PB & J sandwiches. I do cook up chicken breasts with mushrooms and onions in the frying pan every week, I’m getting pretty good at that. Cold-cut sandwiches, frozen vegetables and fruit pretty much round out my diet.
Of course, all great things must come to an end, like The Office or Brett Favre’s career. And Sub-tember is no different. So what will I do when the entirety of Subway’s menu returns to its original price and the featured five-dollar-footlong is once again something extremely off-putting? I’m not sure, but the idea alone has me scared. For an approximation of my reaction, click here.