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    No-Shame November

    By Jack | November 8, 2013

    And so the calendar has flipped from October to November and it’s that wonderful time of year again. No I wasn’t referring to the last of the beautiful fall weather, or the delicious feasts on Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season, or even to the glorious spectacle that is the OSU-Michigan game at the end of the month. (Although, all of those things are great, and probably the reason why November is one of my favorite months.)

    Seriously, Thanksgiving food is the best. Hands down.

    Seriously, Thanksgiving food is the best. Hands down.

    No, my friends. The change of month marks the beginning of a month of fully-bearded men, mustachioed students, and the awkward, sparsely-bearded boys, as men around the world let their facial hair grow to support men’s health. Everybody from the lowly high school freshman, to men well on their way to retirement will do their best “Chia Pet” impression to raise awareness for all the health problems that men must face.

    Now there are those who can grow, and those who can’t. For guys who can grow a magnificent, flowing beard, No-Shave November is pretty much like bodybuilders going to the beach to flex their guns. I can guarantee that you will see some full-on lumberjack-esque beards on your way to class this November.

    The classic "Alabatross Mustache" look

    The classic “Alabatross Mustache” look

     

    The "Chester Allen Arthur"

    The “Chester Allen Arthur” and also a mugshot, I’m pretty sure.

     

    For the guys (like me), who just cannot seem to grow a respectable beard, No-Shave November becomes a time of embarrassment and envy. The sparse, fungal growth of fur that sprouts on my chin after not shaving for a few days is everything that society (and my father) hates. I would put up a picture of this sorry attempt at a beard, but it would only keep you away from ever reading my posts again.

    This guy actually can grow a better beard than me, sadly.

    This guy actually can grow a better beard than me, sadly.

    But I think it’s time that November takes on second meaning, more powerful than just growing a thick set of facial hair. I think it’s time for No-Shame November–a time for guys who lack the ability to grow a credible mustache or goatee to stand up proudly and show off the hair they do have. We may not grow the thickest beards, but we have as much heart in one, scraggly hair as the fully-bearded have in all of their chin hairs combined!

    So stand up, fellas. Don’t be ashamed of that pre-pubescent scruff that is only visible when the light catches it just right (the “Ghost Stache” is the term I’m using for this). Instead, support men’s health, and be proud that you are willing to endure the humiliation for a good cause. I’ll be right there with you (or at least until my bosses at O’Charley’s make me shave). Just think of how good it will feel on December 1st to shave it all off and know that you have accomplished something.

    Topics: Events, Personal, Student Life | Comments Off

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