The bigger the community is, the more of chance you will get to make connections with various people who you never expected to before. And I have to say, it can be tough. I have met so many people with different ideologies or social stances, with incomprehensible moral standards and lifestyle, or with hurtful and unacceptable behavior. I also have met people who are genuine and nice, just not a good fit for me as a friend.
I always believed strong relationships are formed after going through massive storms together, but one day during winter break when I was reflecting on my first semester, I realized sometimes it can be better for two soldiers with two different abilities or mindsets to go through by their own style. They don’t necessarily need to get separate or completely give up his/her own way, but we need to remember the battle is not solely for both, but also for yourself as an individual, too.
(This is a casual picture of me and my dear friends. (I wish we had a better picture.) Even though you can’t really see Kailee–my roommate and my good friend–the three of us have a lot of conversations in deep topics and one of them that is frequently discussed is relationships in general; photo credit: Kailee Nardi)
Relationships in general are so difficult; as long as there is more than one actor in the situation, it is more likely to flow in an unintended way. So I’m still learning. I’m still learning to make connection with people who both challenge and embrace me just as who I am. I’m learning to look for people who will be potentially worth investing my life into, but also to look out for those who treat me as a human being who has her own personality and identity.
And I’m learning to be the person who I have the quality that I would like to seek from other people.
If you ever wonder why relationships suck, I am here to say, you are not the only one struggling and it will be okay! After a course of struggles and tries, we will see ourselves on the right place with the right people eventually. So never stop exploring and thinking.