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Self Reflection Blog-Ception

 Written by    October 12, 2017

(Really, that could be the title of any of my blogs.)

Ahh, Fisher. Fisher College of Business. That sweet, sweet haven; the home of baby CEOs and investment bankers. Cool, cool, cool stuff.

#goalz

Fisher, forming its baby CEOs and bankers and networkers – they’re the people on the path to success, right? They are learning all that it takes to be on that path of success – eye contact and firm handshakes and extraversion and being a team player and getting it done.

It is, frankly, very easy to become caught in the Fisher-baby success story. Or in any department, really.

My first blog, ever, was called “Getting over shyness”. Well, those steps definitely worked. I feel more confident; I can think on my feet more; I don’t doubt the validity of my statements.

But.

There’s also another feeling in this typical, brimming-with-confidence aura that seems to essential to the success story. A little bit of it is pasting a smile on your face, maintaining eye contact to seem caring, even if you don’t really care, getting quickly caught up with your own emotions, rather than being in tune with others. Go, go, go, never stop to think. And thrive on that.

You see, I never want to be that.

I want to be the person who fights for the little guy. I want to be the person who others can open up to. I want to be the person who proves themselves, pushes their limits, partakes in whatever nitty gritty work needs to be done—but I want to still be caring and human. I felt a little bit like I was getting away from that, though, especially when not one but TWO of my professors told me to “have balance” and “do something fun”.

But … in FISHER lecture the other day (Recruit! Recruit!), one of the seniors in- guess what – investment banking – came in to talk to our class. I was impressed by him and his accomplishments, yes, but one thing he said, in particular, stuck out to me. That thing was self-reflection.

I recall him showing us a picture of him by a lake, or something, all poetically deep and stuff. He said he would sometimes spend weekends by himself in nature. The gist of it was that, when you are constantly striving to get somewhere, pouring your energy into others, and others’ perception of you, you often forget who you are.

Damn. That hit me. So I took a few minutes that weekend, with a scrap of paper, and wrote about where I am right now. In high school, whenever people talked about self-reflection, I thought it was bull****. I knew who I was! Stupid question. But as you move away from the nest of home, you start to move away from your personal principles. You’re exposed to new things, but you need to maintain the most coveted values in your core.

So I wrote about the type of person I wanted to be, about deliberation and patience, about not reading the news in the morning while I’m waiting for omelets at Scott, and instead smiling at the person taking the time to make them. I wrote about everyday kindness. It felt a little weird, but it was a good reminder to not lose myself in the whirlwind of the work and the day and the times.

Maybe it’s not about relentless pushing. Maybe it’s about just taking a couple minutes to appreciate, to process. Maybe that’s the first step to finding success in your own path.

Then again, who knows? My self-reflection also told me that I am still a sophomore who doesn’t know how to make her own omelets, so I’m not sure if you should be taking advice from me at all.

#feelz

Anyway. Happy Fall Break.

 

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Advice, Personal, Relaxation, Student Life


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