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My Last Name Now Technically Has a Comma and Letters After It

 Written by    May 15, 2013

Just one of the perks of being an alumni.



Song of the Week=Monopoly by Danny Brown

Random=Out here


Before I start writing, I just want to apologize. Not for not writing or anything like that (I live my life with no regrets), but because, for the last four years, I thought that this post was going to be heartfelt and sincere. It is not. I also planned on putting some of those vague, uplifting messages or maybe even some pro-tips. This post contains none of that. I’ll save those for my last one.

Instead this post will be all abo–HEY LOOK IT’S MY LINE NUMBER!

Believe it or not, I wrote it down to help out the stragglers

Believe it or not, I wrote it down to help out the stragglers

You know what they don’t tell you about graduation? How much waiting there is. Sure the fact that it was Spring Commencement may have had something to do with it, or the fact that it was the second largest graduating class, or maybe the fact that the president was there and everyone had to go through airport-like security may have played a small role in it. But I got there just before eight in the morning and the only reason I got in the RPAC in time was because I knew people towards the front of the line.

According to the rumors, the line stretched all the way to High Street and back. I wouldn’t know, I was inside playing Pokemon Blue on my phone. By the time Obama finished his speech, I had a gym badge and a level 17 Ivysaur. I live my life with no regrets.

No regrets


No regrets

But enough about my shenanigans, let’s talk about what’s really important here–me. And, of course, the over 10,000 other graduates/post-graduates/doctoral students. But still, most importantly me.

Despite the long wait times, confusion, and lack of bathroom breaks until Obama was gone, everyone was in a rather good mood. No one even cared that I was standing for two straight minutes trying to locate where my family was sitting. If you think it was because they were sitting so high, I’d normally agree with you and use it as an excuse, but they were somewhere near the front and got into the stadium in under half an hour.

Yeah, there, off to the right somewhere. Simple, right?

Yeah, there, off to the right somewhere. Simple, right?

Also, my dad apparently started the wave before we all entered. Don’t ask, I’m just as surprised as you are.

I’m not sure if you can tell by the picture above, but some people decided to decorate their caps. Some put words, some included this random string of numbers–2, 0, 1, 3 (I’m still trying to decipher what it could mean). Some even put heartfelt thank you’s on them.

But me? I knew I had to do something different. I had to go above and beyond. I had to put something that would not only stand out, but appeal to people of all generations and shine as a universal symbol of achievement. I only had one shot at this so I knew it had to be good. Nothing short of per–

Close enough

Close enough

The good thing about graduation from Ohio State is that graduates are actually free to move around (of course, we had to wait for Obama to leave, which caused some massive bathroom lines). This is good because you can stretch, talk to your family, buy some pizza, not listen to what everyone’s saying (you know, the usual).

After having a brief conversation with my family about… graduation stuff, I decided to get some pizza while I waited for all of the Ph.D. candidates to receive their degree. After jumping from one line to the next, and thinking of hilarious but inappropriate names for my Pokemon, it was almost my turn to order when I got a text message saying that they had called my college.

I ran down, found my section, and realized that I didn’t bother to remember which row I was in. So I picked a random row that kind of looked familiar, but then again everyone was wearing the same thing so who knows, right? No regrets and all.

Luckily fate was on my side and with only 10 minutes to spare before they started giving out our degrees… in which I had to wait another 20 minutes or so before receiving my diploma.

Correction: ,B.A.

Correction: ,B.A.

So, if you’ve ever wondered what a degree from Ohio State looks like, there you go. Oh, and I will leave you all with one very valuable piece of advice: bring two batteries for your cell phone. The service is unforgiving. I have no regrets.

Lesson Learned: Enjoy it, you’ve earned it!


O-H! I-O!

To see what I was doing before graduation, check out Well, I Have Time to Kill Before Finals

If you want actual, helpful advice, check out: Why You Don’t Audition Your Friends


2 Responses

  1. Tony says:

    Congratulations on your graduation.

  2. Grandma says:

    U are the best and you made us all so proud! You had a plan to attend OSU and graduating Cum Laude was the icing on the cake!! I am praying for you to find a job that pays well and makes you happy! You deserve it!


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